Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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