I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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