eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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