if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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