I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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