Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
