I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think people are normalizing furries
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