why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
