Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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