hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
