Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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