i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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