Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
