if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
