Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
