The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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