I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sobbing to NWA
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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