Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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