I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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