YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You're like the curious george of whores
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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