I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
