i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
