I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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