Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
