okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
