I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
