He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
