I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
