I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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