I think my vagina is haunted
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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