i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
