The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
