i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I enjoy the company of your penis
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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