he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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