Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
