Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
3 2 1 whiskey
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
