ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
420 ftw
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just tell him i said nine months
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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