i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize