I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
