Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
