I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
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