god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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