it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
