i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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