Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
