I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
