We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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