There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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