vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
