Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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