I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
