I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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