We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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