no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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