A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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