After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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