Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
