Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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