No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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